A Lesson Learned
Words can never show what's really down inside
Our actions show our truer 'selves' the 'me' we try to hide.
We fight to stuff it all within, the guilt and shame we feel.
It's not until we start to "let go" that we begin to really heal.
Tears come welling up, I'm scared! Of the demon that's within.
I want to change but feel so weak to fight what some call Sin.
Again, it's "letting go" I need, to acknowledge I have NO power.
Then, and only then I'll see, that this is my finest hour!
In now, my greatest weakness, I finally fall to my knees.
In humble broken powerlessness, I now see my "Sin disease".
Tears, they come as floods, I think I won't survive.
But in the midst of the death I feel,
Perhaps I am for the first time "alive".
Can it be? That all this pain, was not a waste of my life?
But rather I had valuable lessons to learn
Through disappointment and strife?
I see more clearly with each day that the "hell" that I've been in,
Is really my "dying to self" so that a new life could begin.
Could God not help me? In the chaos I was in?
Yes, I suppose He was, but I had to let Him in.
In past times, I would not really let go and let God enter in.
I wanted life to be as I prescribed it which was my greatest Sin.
With devastation all around me
and my life hopelessly out of my control.
I cannot fix others whom I love, much less, myself console.
God help me learn to love the way you want me to.
Grant me the serenity to accept the love that comes from You.
I am a new creation and learning how to truly "live"
Taking each day as a gift from God
A truer love I now receive and give.
Thank you God for this lesson, born out of much pain and tears.
A lesson learned at such a great price, I will not forget for years...